National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day

Decoding the Meow

Happy National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day! Yes, you read that right. Today, it’s time to put your human brain to work and answer the burning questions your feline friends have been pondering. Cats are curious creatures—some might say the ultimate philosophers of the animal kingdom—and if they could speak, they’d probably have a lot to ask. So let’s dive into some of the most common questions cats might ask, along with the answers you can provide (with a healthy dose of humor, of course).

The History of Cats and Their Questions

Cats have been asking questions (albeit silently) for thousands of years, ever since they first decided to tolerate humans around 9,000 years ago. Early domestication likely began when wild cats started hanging around grain stores, drawn by the abundance of rodents. It didn’t take long for humans to realize that these sleek, enigmatic creatures were excellent pest controllers—and cats, in turn, realized that humans were an excellent source of free food and warm places to sleep. Thus began a partnership filled with mutual benefit… and a lot of unanswered meows.

In ancient Egypt, cats were revered as sacred animals, often associated with the goddess Bastet. While they may have been worshipped, it’s safe to assume that even then, cats had questions: “Why does this human keep putting on that funny hat?” “What exactly is a pharaoh, and can I knock it off the table?” These early feline philosophers probably found ways to communicate their queries through elaborate stares and dramatic tail flicks.

Fast forward to medieval Europe, and cats were often seen as mystical or even sinister beings. Superstition surrounded them, especially black cats, which were unfairly linked to witchcraft. During this time, cats might have wondered: “Why are humans so strange about my fur color?” or “If I’m not a witch, why can I always tell when dinner is late?” Despite these misconceptions, cats remained loyal companions, often protecting homes and barns from pests.

The Enlightenment brought with it a new appreciation for animals, and cats began to solidify their roles as beloved household pets. Victorian-era portraits often depicted cats lounging on velvet cushions, likely contemplating deep existential questions like: “Why does this chair feel more important than the other chairs?” and “Will my tail ever be as fluffy as that cat next door?”

In modern times, cats have fully integrated into human households, evolving from semi-wild hunters to pampered companions. Today’s cats enjoy an unprecedented level of luxury, but their questions remain as pressing as ever. They’ve traded concerns about survival for modern dilemmas: “Why does the vacuum exist?” “Can I sleep in the fruit bowl?” and “How do I destroy this houseplant in the most dramatic way possible?”

Cats’ inquisitive nature has always been a source of entertainment and fascination for humans. From the ancient temples of Egypt to the cozy corners of modern apartments, their ability to silently demand answers has remained constant. National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day is a lighthearted way to celebrate this enduring bond, even if we’re only guessing at the answers to their many unspoken queries.

The Questions Your Cat Might Ask

Cats are curious by nature, and if they could speak, they would undoubtedly have a laundry list of questions to ask their human companions. These inquiries range from the philosophical to the downright practical, often with a healthy dose of feline attitude. Here are some of the burning questions your cat might have:

• Why can’t I have more treats?
  It's the eternal feline dilemma. Your cat’s love for treats is matched only by their complete inability to understand portion control. The answer? Explain that treats are like dessert: delicious but not a substitute for dinner. Too many treats can lead to health problems, and you’re only looking out for their well-being. Expect your cat to respond with a judgmental stare and possibly a dramatic flop on the floor to show their displeasure. Stay strong, human.

• Why do you close the bathroom door?
  From your cat’s perspective, this is a profound betrayal of trust. How dare you exclude them from the mysterious rituals that take place behind that door? Cats hate closed doors because they’re inherently nosy and convinced that the world revolves around them. The best way to explain? Simply open the door and let them in. Just be prepared for them to stare at you awkwardly or knock over a roll of toilet paper for fun.

• Why does the red dot always escape?
  The elusive laser pointer dot is one of life’s greatest mysteries to your cat. Despite their best efforts, it always vanishes before they can claim victory. The answer? Tell your cat it’s training for their reflexes and hunting skills. If they’re unconvinced, distract them with a real toy—preferably one stuffed with catnip—to soothe their bruised ego.

• Why do you keep bringing home new boxes, and why aren’t they all for me?
  Your cat firmly believes that all boxes belong to them. Whether it’s a shoebox or a refrigerator box, they see it as their rightful throne. Gently explain that the boxes serve various human purposes, but as a gesture of goodwill, you’ll leave at least one box for them to conquer. Bonus points if you cut out a window to create a feline fortress.

• Why don’t you stay home all day and worship me like I deserve?
  To your cat, the idea that you have a job or a social life is utterly baffling. Why would you ever leave when you could spend all day catering to their every whim? Explain that your absence is necessary to earn the money that buys their food, toys, and luxurious cat beds. They might begrudgingly accept this logic, but don’t expect them to show gratitude. Instead, prepare for some cold shoulder treatment when you return.

• Why is the dog here?
  If you have both a cat and a dog, your cat’s disdain for their canine sibling is probably well-documented. Cats see dogs as loud, clumsy interlopers who take up valuable human attention. The best answer? Tell them the dog is a permanent guest and not a threat to their rule of the household. If that doesn’t work, distract them with extra chin scratches and maybe an apology treat.

• Why do you pet my belly if you don’t want me to attack your hand?
  The infamous belly trap is a cruel trick of evolution. Cats expose their bellies as a sign of trust, but touching it is often seen as an act of war. The answer? Admit your mistake and vow to respect the boundary. However, you can remind them that they’ve sent mixed signals, so the blame isn’t entirely yours.

• Why can’t I sit on your keyboard?
  Cats are drawn to keyboards like moths to a flame. To them, it’s warm, slightly noisy, and conveniently located between you and whatever you’re trying to do. Explain that while their assistance is appreciated, it’s not conducive to productivity. They’ll probably ignore your reasoning and continue walking across your keys, occasionally sending emails you didn’t mean to send.

• Why is the vacuum still alive?
  The vacuum cleaner is your cat’s sworn enemy. Every time you pull it out, they’re convinced it’s plotting world domination. The best explanation? Assure them it’s a harmless machine designed to keep their domain clean. If they remain unconvinced, give them a safe hiding spot and plenty of reassurance once the vacuuming is done.

• Why don’t you understand my meows?
  Cats have a complex system of vocalizations, and every meow has a meaning—or so they’d like you to believe. The truth is, they’ve probably trained you to respond to specific meows, whether it’s for food, attention, or play. If they’re frustrated by your lack of fluency, remind them that you’re only human. Then promptly give them whatever they want because, let’s face it, they’re the ones in charge.

Each of these questions offers a glimpse into the mysterious and often hilarious mindset of your feline companion. They may not always make sense to us humans, but they reveal the quirky charm and endless curiosity that makes life with cats so delightful.

National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day is a chance to reflect on the unique and often hilarious bond between humans and their feline overlords. While we may never fully understand what goes on in their little fur-covered brains, one thing is certain: life with cats is endlessly entertaining. So take some time today to humor your cat’s inquisitive nature, and maybe even answer a few of their burning questions. Just don’t expect them to say thank you.

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